


You Knew the Name of the Wolf

by Melon_service



Category: The Arcana (Visual Novel)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Fluff and Angst, I should have made this gender neutral, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Non-Graphic Rape/Non-Con, POV Second Person, Pregnancy, Reader-Insert, Unplanned Pregnancy, don't worry this is cute, pregnancy fluff, uwu
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-08
Updated: 2020-03-03
Packaged: 2020-10-12 10:07:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 8,658
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20562533
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Melon_service/pseuds/Melon_service
Summary: A surprise pregnancy, a spotty memory, a wolf you've never yet whose name you know.Something happened in the forest and The Mountain Man has the answers.





	1. How did you know the name of the wolf?

**Author's Note:**

> The reader is written as female.  
I should have made them gender-neutral, sorry.
> 
> Muriel's curse is a bitch.

You ran towards the woods. It wasn't wise, but that's where your feet took you. The clouds overhead mirrored the cloudy thoughts in your mind. Tears ran down your cheeks and you held yourself thinking the worst. Asra tried to chase after you but you'd made it very clear you wanted to be alone. You knew it wasn't their fault but you knew something had happened that night, and not knowing what it was made you want to rip out your skin.  


It had been about a month ago. You'd been hunting for herbs in the woods just as you did occasionally when you needed them for the shop. You knew the woods were dangerous but the task was so mundane to you you must have gotten careless. You must have not been alert enough because you were suddenly attacked by thieves._ That much you remember._  


You remember making it back to the shop covered in blood and being greeted by a horrified Arsa who immediately tended to you. You had a nasty cut on your face and some bruises later appeared on your arms. But the memories of how you escaped were gone. That night Arsa held you in their arms trying to comfort you out of the terror and the heartache. Because you were heartbroken and the worst part was that you didn't know why.  


After that night you'd stopped going to the woods to collect herbs or otherwise. But the ache in your heart was still there. Asra tried to cheer you as best he could he even told the Countess to treat you to a day of luxury at the palace. You appreciated it of course, but eating seemed like a chore and Asra would often find you sighing to yourself melancholically. Asra had to take it upon themselves to feed you since you would throw up every morning. You even threw up when a particularly pungent smell hit your nose. Asra tried to cure whatever sickness it was that you'd caught with just about every remedy and spell he knew.  


Then your monthly cycle was interrupted, not that you'd noticed you were still too unknowingly heartbroken to notice, but Arsa had. That's when they realized this wasn't some illness. He took you into the shop and took out the ingredients for a spell you often cast for expectant customers.  


"Asra, what is this?" you asked them realizing what they were preparing for.  


"Trust me." They said taking your hand and drawing out a bit of blood with a needle letting it drop into a pot with water and barley seeds. Then they cast the spell. 

After a moment the water began to glow and the seeds began to sprout. Your eyes opened wide knowing excatly what that meant. _You were pregnant._ You looked at Asra lost for words. He looked somber glancing once again at the pot.  


"I guess, now we know why you were throwing up in the morning." They said pulling you into a hug. Instinctively you wrapped your arms around them still in shock.  


_It's not possible. How did this happen I couldn't have. Unless..._  


It had been around a month since you were attacked in the woods. Is that why you had all of this melancholy hanging in your heart? You ripped yourself from Asra's arms and shook your head still trying to process your thoughts. That's when you dashed out the shop. You heard Arsa call your name and go after you but you kept running.  


As you ran through the woods it began to rain. You didn't have a course or a direction but you kept running. _It happened here. It had to happen here. _You tripped on an uprooted tree and didn't bother to get back up. The rain washed over you as you collapsed from exhaustion.  


***  


You bolted up from your slumber to find yourself dry and warm on a stranger's bed with large wolf curled up beside you.  


"You're awake." a low voice grumbled.  


Immediately you turned your head towards its direction and found a giant man sitting by a table drinking tea out of a rough clay cup. Scars covered his body and spiked shackles weighed down his wrist and neck.  


"Who are you?" you asked staring into his olive eyes. He turned away with a grunt, hurt and frustration painted on his face. You wondered why it was so hard for this man to reveal his identity.  


"I'm Muriel." He grumbles serving you a cup of tea and then settling back to his seat.  


"Muriel." You felt the name in your mouth. Somehow it felt familiar, just like the rest of this hut. "How did I get here, Muriel?"  


"I found you in the forest." He says turning his gaze to the cup in front of him.  


Suddenly you remember why you were in the woods in the first place and a grim dread takes over you. "Oh, right." you shake your head trying to banish the negative thoughts and turn to Muriel. "Thank you so much for helping me. I don't know what I was thinking of running into the woods like that. The forest doesn't exactly hold happy memories for me."  


"Really?" He asks looking sad.  


"No. I don't think. Actually I can't remember what happened the last time I was here." You say taking a sip of your tea. It's warm and slightly bitter.  


"Oh." He nods.  


You can see flashes of your attackers and you remember the blood but that's all. _That's when it happened._ Tears suddenly start forming in your eyes and you hold yourself tugging at your skin as your mind starts to imagine how it must have happened. _Did you scream? Did it hurt? Did you try to escape?_  


Suddenly you feel a large hand kindly wipe away the tears and that's enough to shake you from the daze. "What's wrong?" He whispers in a soft and worried voice.  


"Oh! Sorry. I-- I-- My mind went dark places." You say pushing his hand away.  


"I'm sorry!" Quickly he removes his hand and shakes his head as if he'd only just realized he wasn't supposed to touch you so casually. He was a stranger to you after all. _You'd only just met. Right?_  


"You're a weird stranger." You tell him. "A kind stranger too." You sigh focusing on your cup unable to face him after you'd cried. But then you opened your mouth " 

I-- I was attacked. About a month ago. I don't remember what happened._ I don't know what happened._" Your tears start up again. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm telling a stranger all of this. I should go home." You stand waking the wolf beside you. "Sorry, Inanna." You give her a pet.  


Muriel looks at you like he doesn't want you to leave but he doesn't stop you. He just watches you from his seat. You place the cup on the table and head to the door. "Goodbye, Muriel. Thank, you again for helping me... for helping us--"  


"--Wait, us?" He says raising to his feet. He towers over you and is about to take your hands when he stops. "What do you mean?"  


"I-- I'm pregnant." You say out loud for the first time. The words feel strange in your mouth like you still can't believe them.  


Muriel's eyes go wide and he takes a step back. He's too much in shock to say anything, but you tilt your head confused by his reaction. He sees the confusion in you face and he shakes his head. "Sorry. I was surprised."  


"Haha me too! That's why I suddenly rant into the forest in the middle of a storm. I'd just found out." You admit with a laugh. Muriel doesn't laugh though he balls his fists like he's restraining himself.  


"Take care of yourself. Promise me." His expression is unreadable but he doesn't take his eyes off you.  


"Um. Okay, yeah I promise." You say slightly spooked by his behavior. "I'm going to go now. Bye Muriel. Bye Inanna" You say and head back out towards the forest your feet knowing exactly where to go. _Wait, Inanna? How did I know the name of the wolf?_


	2. That's Not What Happened

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Asra and Muriel have a talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Arsa is the real mvp in this chapter.

After you'd left the woods the feeling of heartbreak returned. You hadn't even noticed it was gone until you'd made it safely back to the shop. Asra hugged you the moment you crossed the door.  


"I'm so glad you're back. I was worried I would have to go looking for you." They whispered into your ear.  


"I'm fine now." You said pulling away.  


"Where did you go?" Asra asked.  


"To the forest. I--?" You paused trying to recall. You knew you'd gone there and that somewhere along the line it must have stopped raining.  


Asra gasped "You know you're not supposed to go there anymore. What happened?"  


"Nothing I must have taken shelter when it started raining then I came back." You tell them. "I won't go there again, I promise. I don't want to go to the place where... the place where it happened." You say putting your hand on your abdomen.  


Arsa looked at you and his eyes went wide. "You think it was the night of the attack?"  


You nodded feeling yourself about to break down. Asra shook his head and gave you another tight hug. "Oh darling, it's going to be okay I promise."  


"I know," you say pulling away.  


"Good," Asra said before putting on their coat and hat.  


"Where are you going?" You ask.  


"Nowhere important. There's just someone I need to meet. I'll be back before nightfall." They say giving you a peck on the cheek before heading out the door.  


***  


Muriel stood frozen in place for a good long moment. _She was pregnant. She'd moved on to be with someone else. She should be happy and yet she was crying._ You’d been gone for a while but Muriel still couldn't shake the shock away. It wasn't until Arsa knocked at the door that he moved to open it.  


"You look like you've just seen a ghost," Asra said looking worried.  


Muriel shook his head and looked at the unfinished cup you had just left behind. Asra saw it too.  


"Either you've gotten really good at knowing when I'll visit or she was just here."  


Muriel nodded unable to speak.  


"I thought so. We need to talk." Asra sighed taking off his coat and hat and hanging it by the fire. They seated themselves on the bed just where you sat moments before.  


"How is she?" Muriel asked sitting beside them.  


"She'll be fine, Muriel. A little sad and confused, but she's fine." Asra lied trying to soothe him.  


"She didn't look fine." Muriel sighed. "She looked thin and she cried a lot."  


"I know. She misses you. She doesn't know it but she does. She stopped eating, she was so heartbroken." Asra said sadly.  


Muriel turned to Asra first surprised then guilty. _Missed him? Hadn't she moved on?_  


"What happened that night?" Asra finally asked. "I know you took away her myrrh that day. So I assumed something happened between you. And there was no point in asking her and she was so broken I couldn't come see you. So what happened? She said she was attacked."  


Muriel's mind remembered that night. He had nightmares about it often ever since it happened. He took a deep sigh and shook his head trying not to look at Arsa in the eye.  


"She said she would come to visit after she finished picking herbs. I got impatient so I went to look for her. I know where she usually goes, so I found her right away. We picked herbs for a while until we found some poachers by the river. I told her we should leave but you know how she is. She tried to confront them so they attacked her. And then I-- I killed them. I don't know what came over me, but it was like I was back at the arena. I didn't want to kill them. I just--" Muriel broke down to sobs. "and her face. She was so scared. Of me! I knew it would happen. I knew she would hate me. So I--"  


"So you took her myrrh?" Asra interrupted.  


Muriel nodded before breaking into another sob. "I thought it would be better this way. It would be better if she just forgot all about me. But then today I found her and she--"  


"--She told you?" Asra asked and then shook his head already knowing the answer. "Of course she'd tell you. There no one else she trusts more than you-- after me, of course!"  


"But she doesn't even remember me. She doesn't remember _us_." Muriel jabbed. _She's moved on._  


"Her mind doesn't remember, but her heart does. Her love for you is stronger than your curse. She's been pining away for a month now."  


Muriel grunted in frustration. He'd been pining away for a month too, wishing you would magically show up at his door. "I miss her too." He admitted.  


"You need to tell her, Muriel. Everything." Asra said taking Muriel's hands and giving them a squeeze.  


"I-- can't," Muriel said shaking his head. "She'll hate me!"  


"No, she won't. She loves you. You have to tell her." Asra pleaded.  


Muriel shook his head, your terrified face flashing in his mind. Nothing broke his heart more than seeing the horror of your face that day. "I can't."  


"Muriel! She thinks she was _raped_, for stars' sakes!!!" Asra exploded.  


Muriel froze for a second. All the time you’d spent in his hut that day you had been crying. _She hadn't moved on to be with someone else._ Muriel had misunderstood your tears. He swallowed the large knot of guilt that had formed in his throat. _That's not what happened! That's not what happened at all!_  


"You have to tell her." Asra interrupted his thoughts and once again squeezed his hands. "Think about your baby. Think about the family you could finally have. A happy family."  


There was a hitch in his breath. _His baby_. If you hadn't moved on that could only mean...  


"I--" Muriel ran his hand's through his hair finally coming to the realization. His heart ran wild as he thought about the intimate moments he'd spent with you. He'd never felt so happy. And now...  


"You deserve to be happy, Muriel. She deserves to be happy too." Asra said smiling.  
Muriel nodded and gave Asra a tight thankful hug. "I'll tell her."  


"We'll meet at the little sanctuary west of the cave," Asra said. "It's getting late and I promised I would be back before nightfall. I'll see you tomorrow."  


Arsa left Muriel with an anxious chest. That night Muriel couldn't sleep thinking of what on earth he'd have to say to her tomorrow.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, thanks for reading!
> 
> I haven't even written the next chapter so remind me to do that.


	3. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth is revealed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> these flashbacks might as well be their own book.  
AAAAnd now I'm stuck and idk how to continue.

Asra woke you up earlier than you wanted to be woken. By the time you made your way down the stairs fully dressed and ready, they had almost finished preparing for some kind of outing. 

“Are you going somewhere?” You ask examining everything they’d laid out on the table. 

“We are going somewhere. You’ve been down lately so we’re going to fix that. I’m hoping this will cheer you up.” 

“Let me guess. We’ll picnic with Nadia and Portia at the palace gardens.” You venture.

“No. It’s a surprise!” Asra smiles crawling up behind you and gently placing a blindfold over your eyes.

“Oh! Now I’m very interested.” You say as they take you by the hands and lead out the door.

You can feel the breeze of the outdoors hit your skin and your nose is met with the slight scent of pumpkin bread from the nearby bakery. As Arsa leads you down the streets you can hear the city’s bustling noise as it wakes up for another day. You were so used to the noise you didn’t realize how loud it was. 

“Asra is this really necessary?” You say before tripping on the uneven stone road.

“Absolutely! There will be a greater payoff, I promise!” They say catching you. 

“Alright, I trust you.” You say holding on to their arm tighter from the fear of falling. 

You feel a change of air the longer you walk. The atmosphere seems fresher and the smell of the city fades into a nice earthy scent. You can hear the sounds of birds and the rustling of tree branches. _If this is not the palace gardens, then there’s only one other option…_

Asra stops and carefully tugs at your blindfold. “We’re here.” 

You were in the forest, more specifically a small clearing in the forest. You can feel a slight protective magic at work, probably Asra’s. Small charms hang for the tree branches forming a little circle that confirm your suspicions. 

“This was a tiny sanctuary for me before I met you. Is it what you hoped it would be?” They ask setting up the picnic. You notice three plates instead of two.

“It’s very peaceful. And I could do with some peace.” You say taking in the warm sun from the middle of the clearing. You look back at Asra and sit next to them with a question nagging at the back of your mind. “Are we waiting for someone?”

“Yes, we’re waiting for a friend.” Asra says looking around the scenery as if to find the person we were waiting for.

“Oh? Who are they?” You say looking around too.

“Actually, you’ve met before. You just don’t remember them.” They say. You must have made a face because immediately they continued. “Don’t worry. It’s not your fault. He has a special spell. A curse. It makes people forget him as soon as he leaves.” 

“But you remember him.” You question them.

“It’s complicated, it’s better if I let him explain,” Asra says scratching the back of their neck.

You sit with Asra for a while, chatting and munching on the snacks Asra brought. You see Asra occasionally glance around looking for their mysterious friend. They look a bit worried.

“Maybe they forgot?” You try to be hopeful.

“I don’t think that’s it.” Asra chuckles. “Do you think you can wait a bit more?” 

“I don’t mind waiting. This change of scenery is nice.” You say laying on your back and looking up at the partially cloudy sky. 

For a moment you imagine yourself on a picnic much like this one but with your baby tugging at the grass and babbling to themselves and feeling the dirt with their tiny chubby baby fingers. And Asra is there with you. _Asra?_ _Somehow that didn’t seem right or fair. _You knew that they wouldn’t mind raising this child with you, in fact, you knew they would be delighted, but you simply couldn’t bring yourself to ask them to raise a child with you if it wasn’t theirs. 

Once again your heart began to ache. You covered your face not knowing why you felt this way and tried to hide the fact that tears were forming in your eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” Asra asked.

“_I don’t know_, Asra!” You let the tears free fall as you sit up. “I feel like I’ve lost something very important to me, and I don’t know what _it_ is, but I know that I need it _right now_.” You hold yourself is if that would help you keep it together. “It feels so stupid worrying about that feeling right now, because I have other concerns that I should be focusing on and other feelings that should be consuming me. But…” You tug at your skin not wanting to be inside your body. “I don’t know how to feel.”

“I see,” Asra says solemnly. You half expect them to comfort you with a hug as they always did, but they don’t. Instead, they stare at the tall dark stranger standing at the edge of the clearing. 

You wipe your tears and stare at the stranger who makes direct eye contact with you. You can see a storm brewing in their green eyes, but your stare is interrupted by the large wolf that charges directly at you. 

“Inanna!” You squeal as the wolf affectionately licks your face. You run your fingers through her thick dark fur and she immediately melts at your touch. Your petting session is interrupted when Asra clears their throat.

“…This is Muriel. The person I wanted you to meet… _again_.” Asra says signaling for Muriel to come closer. He does and then sits timidly beside Asra.

“Muriel.” You test out the name in your mouth. Somehow, it feels familiar. “Nice to meet you, _again_.” You smile at the handsome stranger.

“It’s good to see you _again_,” Muriel grumbles as his face turns red.

Asra suddenly stands “I think it’s time for me to leave. You guys need to talk.” 

Muriel looks at Asra horrified, but Asra simply winks at him reassuringly. 

“Don’t worry. I don’t bite.” You try to ease Muriel into accepting your lone company.

“But you do…” Muriel whispers under his breath, but it’s loud enough for everyone to hear. 

“_Oh, does she_?!” Asra exclaims raising a brow to you.

Muriel’s eyes go wide and he proceeds to blush furiously down to his shoulders. 

“How kinky!” Asra laughs.”You are not living this down!”

You look at them both very embarrassed and very confused.

“Anyway. I’ll see you guys later. Enjoy your chat,” Asra says before disappearing into the woods. 

You look at Muriel who is avoiding your eye and then turn your attention to Inanna, who has rested her head on her lap. “I remember her.” You say scratching behind her ears. “Asra told me about your curse. So I don’t remember you at all, but I remember her.” 

“I’m sorry.” Muriel blurted. 

“What for?” You tilt your head trying to read their expression. He looks sad and guilty.

He takes out a small pouch from his pocket. “This belongs to you.” He extends it towards you but when you’re about to grab it he takes it back.

“I-I’m sorry.” He says again. “I really want you to forgive me.” 

“But, I don’t even know what you’ve done that requires my forgiveness.” You say growing more and more impatient and confused.

He extends the pouch to you again and this time he lets you take it. When you open it you’re met with the woody scent of myrrh. At first, it’s a pleasant smell earthy and fragrant, but then you feel a strange tingle inside your head, behind your ears, and all of a sudden the memories come rushing in.

The day you met when you and Arsa took refuge from the rain in his hut. You thought he was grumpy and cute. He didn’t seem to care about you much then. He’d hardly look at you but he offered you some food and gave you the myrrh. Sure he was a little rough around the edges but under all of that he was a gentle soul and you took that as a good sign.

Then the day that you found him feeding his chickens. Asra had been away for a while so you thought it might be good to make a visit. You thought it was so cute how careful he was with them and how they all crowded around him as if they weren’t afraid of his imposing figure. One of them was even perched on his head. You offered to help and he gave you a couple of eggs as a thank you. Those eggs were better than the ones you found in the city. 

On your next visit, you told him he should sell the eggs at the market. He frowned at the idea, but you were persuasive. You promised you would go with him every week to the market even if it rained. He finally said yes. The first time, he was very nervous of the crowds and the people. You held his hand and bought him a scarf. The egg seller didn’t want to buy his eggs, but you’re persuasive. You took Muriel to the shop so he could calm down after. You were happy he felt more comfortable in your company. 

Thereafter, you would see him every week for your weekly trip to the market and when you were done, you’d take him to the shop to wind down. First, you treated him to a warm cup of tea. Then the cup of tea turned into a full-blown meal. Naturally, he felt like he needed to pay you back and soon you were selling his protective charms at the shop, even though you told him it wasn’t necessary. Soon seeing Muriel was the best part of the week. You didn’t even mind that Asra was gone. You would even hold Muriel’s hand when you walked to the shop and he didn’t protest.

But one day a week wasn’t enough, in the afternoons after you closed the shop, you ventured into the forest to see him. Even in the rain. “It’s dangerous.” He’d warn you, but never complained about your frequent visits. 

Then one night the weather took a turn for the worst. It had been raining all week, but that night the cold wind blew furiously and the rain was the heaviest you’d ever seen. It had been a miracle you’d even made it to Muriel’s. You were soaked and chilled to the bone. “You shouldn’t have come.” Muriel had said looking worried when he opened the door.

“I wanted to make sure you were okay.” You said shivering and dripping all over the floor.

“I’m _fine_. You should worry about yourself.” He shook his head and gently pushed you towards the fireplace. 

You welcomed the warmth of the fire, but you were still dripping. 

“Take off your clothes.” He mumbled more to himself than to you. When he realized he’d said that out loud he blushed. “–You’re all wet! You’ll get sick!” 

“If you wanted to see me naked, you should have said.” You teased as you started to remove your outer layers. Muriel blushed again and faced away to give you some privacy. 

“Are you done?” He asked after a moment. 

You found his cloak and covered your nakedness with it. “Yes. All covered. But you do realize, you never wear a shirt.”

He turned around and avoided your eyes. 

“Not that I’m complaining.” You teased sitting by the fire next to Inanna.

“Stop.” He said sitting next to you. 

“Sorry.” You sighed feeling a bit rejected, but you pet Inanna’s soft fur to distract yourself. “You’re just so cute when you’re flustered.” You blurt. 

“You think I’m cute?” He asked embarrassed. 

“I think you’re wonderful and cute. Very cute.” You smile up at him. He’s a blushing mess.

“You’re cuter.” He mumbled. It was your turn to blush. 

“You think I’m cute?” You gasped.

Muriel nodded “I–I think you’re beautiful. A-and good. You’re so good.”

“And you’re gentle and kind.” You say grabbing his hands. “And sweet.”

“A-and you’re a-amazing!” He rebuffs stuttering.

“Can I kiss you?” You asked shyly.

“W-w-what?” He looked surprised. 

“I want to kiss you. Can I?” You bit your lip.

Muriel froze in shock.

“Sorry, that was stupid. I shouldn’t have asked.” You said looking away embarrassed. 

“No, I– I wanttokissyou.” He blushes.

You turned to him surprised. His green eyes were filled with love. You felt yourself leaning towards him and closed your eyes. You felt his hand on your cheek guiding your lips to his lips. Your heart was beating so loud you were sure he could hear. But it didn’t matter because his lips were soft and warm.

“You’re shivering.” He said breaking from the kiss looking at you worried.

“Oh, I’m warming up!” You joked.

“No, you’re already warm.” He shook his head and pressed his forehead to yours. “You’re burning up.” 

“What?” You touched your forehead again. Muriel was right, you were burning up. “But I feel fine.”

“You’re not fine! You shouldn’t have come.” He said and then picked you up as if you weight no more than a feather, and placed you on his bed.

“But then I would have missed that kiss! I’m fine I swear. I just need to sleep is all.” You say sitting up.

“No. You’re sick.” He said again. “Promise me you won’t visit during a storm again.”

“If I promise that, do you promise that you’ll kiss me again when I get better?” You asked. 

He looked a bit taken back but he noded. “I–I promise.”

Muriel didn’t let you leave until you were fully recovered. He had an excellent bedside manner, always asking you if you needed anything and he was as caring and gentle as always. He walked you to the shop to make sure you made it home in perfect health. And before you let him go you kissed him again and whispered “I love you” in his ear. He left a blushing mess, but he whispered back.

_I love you._

Once you started kissing him, you found that you couldn’t stop. And what started out as soft chaste kisses soon turned into hungry heated make outs. You would let his hands roam your body and he would let your lips explore his. Then one sly comment from a rude passerby at the market was all it took for things to escalate. You would spend nights with him doing more than just kissing. In fact, you did _bite_, his shoulders, his inner thigh, his lips. You would then sleep in his arms and on his large strong chest. Sometimes he would wake up from night terrors and you comforted him with your body since he refused to tell you about his nightmares. 

You would spend more time with Muriel than you did at the shop. Asra didn’t complain about having to take over for you. They were happy to see you so happy. And you were happy, _very happy_.

Then came that day in the woods. You were picking herbs with him for a while, just enjoying his company when your afternoon was interrupted by a pair of poachers who were setting up traps by the river. At first, you just watched but then anger filled your heart then you ripped their traps apart with your magic and threw the snares at their faces. Muriel looked terrified when one of them swang at you with a knife cutting your face. 

Suddenly the man you loved was gone. He had been replaced by a merciless killing machine. His naturally kind eyes were soulless as he charged at the poachers. He kicked one of them down and the other received a fist to the face. You were too shocked to move. They should have stopped there when they saw Muriel fight, but instead, they charged at him again. One of them was able to slash his chest but then Muriel got a hold of one of their knives and that was their end. You watched helplessly as Muriel tore open one of their throats and then stabbed the other. 

You looked at him wide-eyed still unable to process what just happened. Muriel looked down at the bodies horrified. “No.” He mumbled over and over again. Then his eyes met yours and all you saw in his was sheer agony. Then he collapsed. 

You ran to him worried, hands shaking, and muttering curses under your breath. The cut on his chest was bleeding heavily so you used your magic to heal it immediately. You thought it would be best to move him, but even with magic that didn’t get you very far. You used up so much magic that you had to sit down and rest accidentally falling asleep in the process. When you woke up your myrrh was gone just like your memory of Muriel. 

But now the memories were back and you finally understood what happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading.  
The idea of selling the eggs I completely stole from "Yours Truly" a fic by Beavi. (if you haven't read that one, what are you doing here? go read it!)  
but seriously, I don't know how to continue. help!


	4. Something Has to Change

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're not happy, with the turn of events.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> angst and fluff go so well together.

The tingles in your head made your vision blurry and your stomach turn. You got up hoping that it would make your head stop spinning but instead you emptied your stomach contents on the forest floor. 

“Are you okay?” He sounded concerned as he placed his hand on your back, using the other to pull back your loose hair.

“No.” You gargled shaking your head trying to catch your breath. It was all too much to take in all at once. 

Reluctantly you take Muriel’s arm for support as he leads you back to where you had been sitting. He offered you some water and wiped the edges of your mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” he mumbled over and over again. 

You knew that he meant it, but your heart still ached.  _ Was he really going to make you forget him? All the time you’d spent together erased forever? Just like your past. _

“Why did you do it?” you asked feeling tears form in your eyes.

“I--I thought you would leave after what happened. After what I did.” He laments looking down at his hands ashamed.

You shake your head. “I wouldn’t have left.”

“You would have… The way you looked at me. You were so scared.” He breaks down and covers his face. “It was supposed to be for the best.”

“Of course I was scared! You were bleeding all over the place and it was my fault. I was too slow to make a barrier.” You rebuke raising your voice. “You got hurt because of me! And then you fainted from the shock!” You see him shrink away, he’s never seen you this angry. You realize that you are scaring him and you lower your voice to a whisper. “I’m sorry. I was stupid, I should have never confronted those poachers and then this wouldn’t have happened.”

“No. You did what you thought was right. I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I shouldn’t have...” his voice breaks. “Killed them…” You can see the pain and guilt on his face.

“I don’t care about that.” You say quietly. “That’s not why I’m upset.”

“You should be.” He says under his breath but it’s loud enough for you to hear.

“Well, I’m  _ not _ . Not about that. You just wanted to protect me. But then you made me forget you.” You feel your anger rise again as all your pent up thoughts finally come out as words. All the frustration of not knowing who you had been of not knowing anything about your past came rushing back into your heart. “Memories are all we have, Muriel. I know that better than anyone! And you took them away from me! How could you?!” Tears form in your eyes and cascade down your cheeks. 

Muriel balls his fits, his face contorted in anger. “I’m a murderer! I’ve killed dozens of people!” For the first time ever, he raises his voice. You’re too shocked to say anything, all you can do is look at his angry and pained expression.

“I used to be a gladiator at the coliseum.” He says in a whisper, sobbing. “Anyone who entered the arena with me, never escaped alive.” He looks away unable to face you. You can see tears rolling down his cheeks. 

You accidentally let out a small gasp. Suddenly a lot of things about Muriel made sense. The fact that he was so reclusive and the reason he would wake up in the middle of the night from a night terror. And the scars, all the scars that painted his body. You’d always found them so beautiful, and imagined each had a story to tell. Now you knew why he never told you about them.

You move from your spot, your hands immediately take his face and wipe the tears from his cheeks. 

“I love you, Muriel. I was so miserable, when you were gone, because this is the you that I know. I love the you that I remember. I don’t care about what you did in your past. That’s not you, Muriel. You are right here, right now, in front of me.” You wrap him in your arms and after a moment he cradles you in his. The embrace is so warm and familiar you just want to melt away, but something still nags at the back of your mind. A bit of trust has been broken and a bit of hurt still lingered in your heart.

You finally break the embrace and force an uncomfortable smile. “I’m so happy to have you back, in my memories and in my life. Truly. I love you. I don’t think I could ever stop loving you. But I’m still hurt. I’m hurt.” You say holding yourself for comfort.

“I’m sorry.” He mumbles. “I’m so sorry. I love you. I never wanted to hurt you.” 

“I know.” You nod, there is nothing but sincerity in his grave and gravelly voice. You know what he says is true.

“So you can’t ever forgive me?” He sighs, silent tears forming in his eyes.

“I don’t know. I probably will. I can’t stay mad at you forever. Just not right now.” You say getting ready to leave. “I need to sort out my feelings.”

He doesn’t move from his position and he looks like this conversation just took ten years of his life. You know you can't leave him like that so you stand in front of him and he closes his eyes like he’s readily accepted that you will slap him. You sigh disappointed that he feels like he should be physically punished. You kiss his forehead instead. “I’m still very mad at you.” Maybe that hurt him more than the slap.

“Come to the shop tomorrow,” you say before walking away without looking back. 

***

As you walk from the forest path back to the city you feel a sense of calm. Like a huge weight has been lifted off your back. You held your hand to your abdomen and sighed relieved. Your baby now had a father, the man you loved, not some stranger or rapist. They had been conceived of love, not tragedy.

_ Muriel’s baby. _ You smiled rubbing small comforting circles on your stomach.  _ Your baby. _

The future you had once daydreamed about was suddenly within grasp. You’d imagined a baby playing with Inanna, giggling happily and tugging at her tail and ears.

How could you not be happy about that?  _ But… but…  _

_ Something had to change.  _ You brought your hand to your chin thinking of a plan.

“I’m guessing things didn’t go as well as I hoped?” Asra said tilting their head and eyeing you carefully as you crossed the shop’s door.

You shrug feeling exhausted emotionally and physically. “What were you hoping for?” 

“For you not to come back. Not because I don’t want you here, obviously, I thought you’d go with Muriel. I guess, I just wished things would go back to the way they used to be. Maybe that was a bit naive of me.” They say pensively.

“I don’t think they will go back.” You say with a shrug and then add “Maybe things will get better.”

“Oh?” Asra asks intrigued. 

“I may have a plan. How much do you know about breaking curses?” You smile.

***

Muriel knocked on the shop’s door, perhaps due to the lack of his better judgment, but he just knew he had to see you again even if the back of his mind just wanted to run away. 

You opened the door and saw his large frame standing there which made you gasp immediately “You came!”

“You told me to come…” He said in a hushed tone. 

You pulled him in the shop and sat him down the kitchen table.

“I’ve been thinking.” You started, your expression was serious as you tried to pose the subject delicately. “We can’t go on like this.”

Here is was, the moment that Muriel feared most. This was the moment where you told him that you never wanted to see him again. The moment where you told him that what he had done was unforgivable and that this was goodbye. He looked down unable to meet your eyes as he awaited the final blow.

“We have to get rid of your curse.” You finally finished.

“What?” He looked up surprised.

“I trust you, Muriel and I know that you’ll probably won’t disappear on me like that ever again, but I need to know for sure.” You began as Muriel looked at you with surprised eyes. “If this family is going to work that curse has to be broken. What is our baby going to do? Babies need constant exposure to their parents, are we going to rub them with myrrh every day so they don’t forget you? And what about when they get older? Children are forgetful, what if one day they forget their pouch and then they think you’re some stranger? No. We can do that. We have to break your curse.” You said rambling pacing the floor before Muriel.

“So you’re not going end things with me?” He said speechless.

“What? No! Stop saying that!”

Muriel sighs in relief, “So you forgave me?”

You laugh and wrap your arms around him. “Just because I’m still mad doesn’t mean I haven’t forgiven you. Or that I love you any less.”

“You’re still mad at me?” He asks squishing you tighter as if the more tightly he held you the faster your anger would dissipate.

“Yes, but it will pass.” You say kissing his forehead.

“Okay.” He says a bit guilty.

“Now about this curse of yours?” You ask. “How do we get rid of it?”

“I--” He starts reluctantly looking at the floor, “It was a gift… from The Hermit.”

Muriel thought about the ramifications of getting his curse removed. People would stare every time he would go to the market. And worst of all they would remember his as the Scourge of the South, the gladiator past he’d tried so hard to bury. People would pick fights with him on the streets and he’d never be able to show himself in public. He shook his head, thinking getting his curse removed was a bad idea. 

But then he looked up from the floor and his thoughts and saw you standing in front of him with your bright eyes and compelling smile.  _ If this family is going to work that curse has to be broken _ , you said. And he knew you were right. Suddenly he could picture it, the three of you living in his hut. The baby sleeping soundly in your arms as he made dinner. The baby pulling at Inanna’s ears by the warm fire. He imagined how great it would be for him to teach the baby to make flower crowns once they were old enough. He’d be there for them when his own parents couldn’t be there for him. That thought alone made the curse worth being broken. He knew he had to do it, for you and for your family together. 

“I-- I think I know what to do.” He said thinking of a plan.

“We’ll do it together.” You smile at him.

“Okay.” He smiles back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is the end.   
How did I do?  
I might write an epilogue.


	5. Epilogue part 1

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A late-night conversation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> writing this gave me so many uwus

Sleeping was starting to become a problem. Four months ago it had been pure bliss, when you could curl up on Muriel’s large chest and he would gently run tiny circles on your back and the rise and fall of his breathing would lull you into peaceful dreams. But now the wider girth of your pregnant belly made it impossible to find a comfortable sleeping position. The best one so far consisted of resting your head somewhere between his chest and shoulder while you straddled him with one leg, your belly pressing tightly onto his side. He didn’t complain but the room was filled with guilty silence as you held him in your arms when he suddenly woke you with his nightmares. You felt equally guilty when you woke him up, light sleeper that he is, every time you had to go to the bathroom. 

This was one of those occasions, you walk back to the bed where Muriel is waiting for you snuggle onto his side lifting the fur covers invitingly. You tippy-toe your way around Inanna who sleeps soundly by the fire and reach the bed where you let yourself be covered and enveloped in Muriel’s warm. Lying down in your new sleeping position, you smile as he gently rubs your back. Usually, you know he’s fallen asleep when his hand stops moving, but it’s been a few minutes and his hand is still running in circles around your back. 

“Can’t sleep?” You mumble tilting your face to look at him. 

“No...” He grumbles. 

“Is something wrong?” You ask concerned.

He takes a deep sigh and doesn’t answer the question, instead, he reaches over to touch your bump. You shift your position to give him better access and you smile feeling his large hand cover your belly. You love the soothing back and forth movement of his hand. The baby must like it too and moves inside you. You gasp smiling from ear to ear as a Muriel retracts his hand wide-eyed. “I’m sorry.” He mumbles 

“Sorry? No. This is good! We like it. Keep going!” You practically purr taking his hand and placing it once again on your baby bump. 

“Are you sure? I wasn’t pressing too hard?” He asks his voice quivering. 

“I’m sure. Please keep going.” And he does, you can feel yourself start to fall asleep again but you remember there’s something you need to ask him. 

“So what’s keeping you up?” You hum.

“What if they’re ashamed of me?” He poses sadly not taking his eyes off the bump.

“What? Why would they be ashamed of you?” You frown.

“When they’re older. They’ll find out I was the Scourge. And I won’t be able to hide anymore…”

Ever since his curse had been broken he’d gained a reputation around Vesuvia. Only those who had been very interested in the gladiator fights at the coliseum would recognize him and either boo at him or try to chat him up. There were many whispers of his so-called “return”, and your actual visits to town were scarce keeping the air of mystery. So on market days, you would have to spell him into a different appearance. The people at the market would just call him the tall egg seller. You both wished it didn’t have to be this way but until the memory of The Scourge of the South was completely forgotten it would just have to be this way.

The guilt on Muriel’s face broke your heart.

“Stop!” You say reaching up to soothe his face. “Stop right there. No more putting yourself down. This baby is going to love you! Because you’re kind and wonderful and you’re their father.” You say and sit up to kiss his forehead.

“You don’t know that.” He closes his eyes ashamed.

“Maybe I don’t for sure. But I do know that when the time comes, they will understand why you fought in the arena and they won’t judge you for it. Because they will know that such a kind and good heart like yours would never want to hurt others. Trust me.” You tell him but he looks at you still unsure so you continue. “But if you don’t believe me, you can just tell them yourself.” 

“What?”

“Yeah talk to our baby, right now. They’ll listen.” You suggest. Every time you said _ our baby _ made your heart swell with joy. And with each day that passed the feeling became stronger. You knew he felt it too And though he didn’t say it you’d find little reminders, like freshly picked flowers and small freshly-carved wooden toys.

You rub your belly and smile at Muriel. 

He looks at your bump then at you as doesn’t know what to say.

You chuckle thinking that making the man of few words try to explain himself might not have been the best idea, so you start him off. “Baby,” You whisper sweetly to the bump “I know it’s kind of late, but we want to tell you something...” You look at Muriel urging him on.

“Umm….” He turns red and whispers, “I love you.”

Your heart sings. “That’s a good start. We love you.” You smile feeling tears of joy form in your eyes. “And you’re the most important thing in our lives so we want you to understand…” you pause and wait for Muriel.

“I—I did some b—bad things a long time ago. B—But I was because I wanted to protect someone I love. I didn’t want to do them. But I had to.” He whispers softly to the bump with a sad tone in his voice. “Please, don’t be mad at me.” He pleads slowly pressing his ear to your belly as if to listen for a response. And right on queue a little kick answers back.

“I think they understand.” You nod confidently. Muriel looks up and you and smiles, his beautiful olive green eyes filled with hope. 

_ Yes _ , you think, _ he’s going to be a wonderful father. Everything he does, even the smallest gesture is proof of that. But you...?_

“What?” He asks noticing the doubt in your mind. 

“I have no memories of my parents. I won’t know what to do.” You say sadly. 

“I won’t know what to do either. I don’t even remember my parents’ faces anymore. It was so long ago.” He says wrapping his arm around you and pulling you to lay beside him. 

“I find myself thinking of them often these days, and I fantasize about what they might have been like.” You confess snuggling up to Muriel. “Do you think about your parents a lot?” 

Muriel shakes his head sadly. “No. But I dream about them sometimes. I can’t see their faces or hear their voices but I know it’s them.” 

“Sorry for bringing this up. I know it’s still a sensitive topic for you.” You apologize looking up at him hoping you didn’t make him too sad. 

“It’s okay.” He says but doesn’t sound like he’s okay.

You groan feeling guilty “I’m sorry. I’m so selfish.”

“Why do you say that?” 

“Because I’m glad your parents sent you away to protect you. I know it’s not what you would have wanted and it caused you so much pain but, if they hadn’t I wouldn’t have met you and we wouldn’t be here. That makes me selfish. I’m sorry.” 

Muriel shakes his head and pulls you up for a lingering forehead kiss. “I _ was _ sad when they sent me away. I thought it was because I was a burden, because they didn’t want me. But they did the right thing. Because I—I get to be with you like this.” He squeezes you tight and you melt. 

“I love you, so much.” You mumble into his neck still tightly wrapped in his arms. He eases his grip enough to let you kiss his lips. He moans an “i love you” between kisses and even though you wish you could continue kissing him, you stop before things escalate.

He looks a bit disappointed but your smile is so sweet he forgets instantly.

“I guess we’ll have to figure out this parenting thing on our own, huh?” You look at him as your hand instinctively moves back down to rub your pregnant belly. 

“I guess. But we’ll do it together. Right?” He says, there is a light tone of uncertainty in his voice. 

“Of course!” You hum curling up to him and using him as a body pillow. You settle down into your sleeping position with Muriel’s hand running circles around your back.

“Always together.” You mumble with a drowsy smile as you once again succumb to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm working on a part 2 so get ready for baby fluff

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed. Thanks for reading!


End file.
